The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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die
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Post by die » Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:11 am

did anybody see those new commercials for some hair transplant technology? That shit had Jimmy Hart & Chavo on there. I wondered how Chavo got bangs now.
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Shwiggie
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Post by Shwiggie » Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:26 am

I didn't know a better place for this, so here, apparently taken at the last Wizard World Texas:
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Wed Oct 15, 2008 1:39 pm

oh how the mighty have fallen!
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Bloodrose
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Post by Bloodrose » Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:41 pm

He was mighty to begin with?
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:49 pm

well at least he treid to be... Didnt he Run with the NWO at one point?
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:04 pm

The Robot Report
July 23, 2004


Apparently there was backstage heat between John Bradshaw Layfield and Chris Jericho. JBL was reportedly very upset that Jericho was asked to be on “I Love the 90s” on VH-1, and that he was not. Someone cleared up the situation by pointing out that the show was about not about the 1890s (which are often referred to as “the Gay 90s”).

Some backstage are questioning how Test acquired his neck injury, since no one can recall ever seeing him take any bumps.

Rhyno was recently quoted as saying he’d “rather blow his brains out” than be on Smackdown. This is an interesting juxtaposition to Sable, who reportedly had to blow something else to get onto Smackdown.

Benoit is for real. Wrestling, however, is not.

The plan for Randy Orton is for the former IC Champion to win the Royal Rumble, face Triple H at Wrestlemania 21, lose to Triple H at Wrestlemania, then be buried in the midcard until Triple H takes a leave of absence for whatever reason.

Speaking of Triple H, some are wondering why he grew his beard back early this year. It seems as though he was afraid people would mistake him for Greg “the Hammer” Valentine at the 2004 Hall of Fame Ceremony.

Gregory “Hurricane” Helms on rumors that Jack Black will play Green Lantern in an upcoming movie: “Whazzupwitdat?!?!?!?”

Brock Lesnar recently commented on the real life heat between Bret Hart and Ric Flair by pointing out that he was going to join the NFL.
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Quadriceps
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Post by Quadriceps » Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:22 am

Man, do I come and go from this board or what? Quadriceps is to TSG as Scott Hall is to TNA.

Anyway, I happened to find a motherload of old CAWR musicals kicking around on my old backup disks. Here are some of them. Shit is like WWE Vintage Collection up in here.



--------


"Ice Ice Taker"
by Wubbzy


Yo VIP, let's no-sell it
Ice Ice Taker... Ice Ice Taker

Alright stop, park your bike and listen
Taker's back and got the same old intentions
My hand grabs ahold of you tightly
Then I hit you with a chokeslam day and nightly
Will I ever sell? Yo, I don't know
Just turn up the lights yo, here I go
To the extreme, I work a mike like a weenie
Stink up the ring and then go poof like a genie
Dance, prepare to job real soon
'Cause I'm killin' your push like a pois'nous mushroom
Deadly, cause ya better be sellin' me
Any clean win over me is a felony
If you're young and got talent, you better gang way
Just lay your ass down and collect your pay
If you got a reputation, yo I'll break it
Check out the Last Ride while you go ahead and take it

Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin'

Now that the jobber is bumpin'
Takin' a chokeslam and a snake eyes or somethin'
Win after win after win no fakin'
I'm layin' out rookies like they're slabs of bacon
Aging, and I ain't too nimble
I wear a rag with a big red symbol
My new theme music gots some souped-up tempo
I'm on a roll, I beat the tag champs solo
Jobbin' out every average joe
'Cause if you wanna beat me, then the answer is no
The jobbers on standby, waving just to say hi
Did you sell? No, I just limped by
Then I went on, on to the house show
Rolled out the chokeslam and squashed ol' Rico
The crowd was dead, so I continued
To A1A SmackDown Avenue
Triple H cut a promo for an hour
Killin' the crowd like a man-eating flower
Jealous, 'cause I'm out gettin' mine
Beatin' Hulk Hogan with the title on the line
Midcarders, prepare for a fall
'Cause when you wrestle me, you're gonna get mauled
Suddenly I hear footsteps and a bell
As my music cues up and the fans all yell
Comin' to the ring real fast
Hop on my bike, slam on the gas
Jobber after jobber, they all get attacked
No-sell their finishers and knock 'em on they back
Rewrite the scene, you know what I mean
So I can manhandle the top heel Tag Team
If there was a jobber, yo, pin him to the ground
If a guy gets pushed, yo, I hold him down

Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin'

Take heed, 'cause I'm a veteran pro
Twelve years in the company in case you didn't know
My yard, I'm on the top of every card
If you wanna step up, you'll get jobbed like a retard
'Cause I wrestle like a big old slob
If you've got any talent, you'll job
Ya gotta pay dues, it's a hell of a concept
I paid mine, and now ya gotta
Respect me, 'cause I'm here for life
Slow like a hippo, dull like a butter knife
So old, all the rookies say damn
Juiced up on Geritol, I take it by the gram
Don't whine about jobbin', better have some pride
When I no-sell your moves and hit ya with the Last Ride
If there was a problem, yo I caused it
Lay down and job while the DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice Ice Taker... No sellin' Ice...

Yo, let's get out of here. Word to ya' jobber.

Ice Ice Taker, too old, too old... Ice Ice Taker, too old, too old... Ice Ice Taker, too old, too old... Ice Ice Taker, too old, too old


--------


"HARDY HARD"
To the tune of "Party Hard" by Andrew WK
Sung by Jeff Hardy


You,
You toke all night (all night)
I can't work 'cause I don't feel right
And I,
I can't stop smoking all night (all night)
And damn this crack is alright

'Cause I will never wrestle by your rules (hooooo)
I will do lots of randy men too
(hooooo)
Do who I want, who I want is you
Do who I like, and like who I do

So let's get a Hardy going (let's get a Hardy going)
Now let's botch Shotducks and hit the mat hard (Hardy hard)
Hardy hard (Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard...)

All right
I,
I break something
When I miss my rail runner every night
But I,
Can't stop sucking every night
Can't do the rail runner right

'Cause I will paint my face green and pink and blue (hooooo)
I will drink diet pink Snapple too
(hooooo)
Do who I want, who I want is you
Do who I like, and like who I do

So let's get a Hardy going (let's get a Hardy going)
Now let's botch Shotducks and hit the mat hard (Hardy hard)
Hardy hard (Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard Hardy hard, Hardy hard, Hardy hard...)


--------


THE REAL BIG SEXY
Sung by Kevin Nash
To the tune of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady"
Lyrics by Wubbzy


May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Big Sexy please stand up?
I repeat:
Will the real Big Sexy please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here.

Y'all act like you never seen Big Sexy before
Jaws all on the floor like 1996 just burst in the door
And held the midcarders down worse than before
Steph is a wh0re, you get a push if you ride her (Ohhh!)
It's the return of the - Oh, wait, wait, you're kidding
He didn't ask me to job to Booker T, did he?
And Chris Jericho said: ... NOTHING, YOU IDIOTS!
Chris Jericho's dead! I buried him in my basement!
Internet smarks love Big Kev
"Blah blah blah Big Sexy, I'm sick of him, look at him
Walkin' around tearin' his Q-U-A-D
Never doin' J-O-Bs!" "Yeah, but look at his hair dye!"
Yeah I've probably got a couple of muscles down in my leg loose
But no worse than what's goin' in in McMahon's wardroom
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
'Cause my bum leg makes me move like a dead moose
"I need prosthetic hips! I need prosthetic hips!"
And if I'm lucky I'll give Hunter a little kiss!
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what decent wrestling is
Of course all my good buddies are big hosses
By the time I'm done, I'll get them main event titles, mm'kay?
We ain't nothin but mammals, well, some of us cannibals
Who eat Popeye's Chicken up like animals
But since I move like a dead animal high on dope
There's no reason why Hunter and Pat Patterson can't elope
I'm a locker room poison with no antidote
Steroids? Hey, gimme those, sing the chorus and it goes


I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up
I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up


Chris Jericho don't need dye in his hair to keep it coloured
WELL, I DO. So F**k him and f**k you too
Baby, I'm older than your granny
Half of the fans can't even stomach me. The rest can't stand me
"Hey Kev, when you come out the fans don't cheer!"
LIES. Every rasslin' fan wants me here
So I can powerbomb Austin and give Scott Hall his beer
Someone in here had better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Hunter and HBK
And talk about who to hold down today
Hey man, I say we bury that Booker T
'Cause I hate him. Oh, and he's more over than us. Teehee!
I should hold down the locker room, now you'll see
That the whole world gots nothin' on Big Sex-Y
I'm sick of you midcarders getting over, all you do is upstage me
So I have been SENT HERE TO DESTROY YOU.
And there ain't nobody better than me
Who limps like me, who wrestles like a wimp like me
Who dress mike me, bury midcarders like me
It just might be the next best thing to sodomy!

I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up
I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up

I'm the guy to give the book to, 'cause I only give out
Big pushes to all of my buddies, and to HHH no doubt
The big difference is I got the balls to hold down all of y'all
And I tells ya I'm not old and don't dye my hair at all (LIES!)
I just get on the mic and spit it
"Kev, you've gotta admit it, you just s**t it
Worse than 90 percent of those wrestlers out there"
I wonder why these smarks rip on my mic skills
It's funny, 'cause at the way I'm goin', when I'm fifty
I'll be kickin' in the main event, ain't that nifty?
Holdin' down the rookies while I'm no-sellin' and smirkin'
I said smirkin', 'cause nobody else is really workin'
And everywhere you go, there's a Big Sexy lurkin'
He could be workin' at KFC, spittin' on your chicken wings
Or in the graveyard, workin' screaming "I'LL BURY YOU ALL!"
Or workin' downtown at a bingo hall
So will the real Sexy please stand up?
And mess one of those quads on each leg up?
And be proud to have a contract with creative control
One more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up
I'm Big Sexy yes I'm the real Sexy
All you other Big Sexies better quit flexin'
So won't the real Big Sexy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha.

Guess there's a little Big Sexy in all of us.

Let's all stand up.



--------

There are more of these.
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die
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Post by die » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:04 pm

HOLY HELL :shock:

Quad!
Man, do I come and go from this board or what? Quadriceps is to TSG as Scott Hall is to TNA.
SOLD


I also sell for "THE REAL BIG SEXY". 1996 busting through the door!!!!
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SoVi3t
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by SoVi3t » Wed May 25, 2011 10:32 pm

dunno where else to ask this, but out of curiousity, where can I get some good info on Vince McMahon Sr???

Read some interesting stories about him, and shit he told Vince before he died, and was curious if there were better details
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RobotJerk
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by RobotJerk » Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:38 am

The first CAWR thread dates back to Scott Hall rejoining the WWF in Feb. 2002.

Of course, this thread is almost 8 years old itself, so there you go.

So, yeah, happy 10th birthday and shit.
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die
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by die » Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:41 pm

Anybody remember my thread entitled "Pushing Jeff Hardy off the Ladder", it was the most popular thread in LOP history (besides the CAWR thread) and it had Hardy fans filled with BACON RAGE.

It got me banned by the leader of the Hardy resistance herself, Miss T2H.


from the vault:
> >--- "ms. turtle2hug" <turtle2hug@lordsofpain.net>
> >wrote:
> >> Die!!! Why did you do it? I have to uphold the
> >> rules. I have to ban you for posting a wrestling
> >> website. How did you let your guard down?
> >>
> >> "Prince, good comments on Gangrel...Have you
> heard
> >> the interview he gave at
> >> <b>liveaudiowrestling.com</b>? It is the wierdest
> >> interview I have ever heard any wrestler give
> (and
> >> mind you, I heard lots of Jake Roberts
> interviews!)"
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> I sent you a private message earlier today as
> well.
> >> You will have to check out Tommy Rock's Promo
> when
> >> it's posted tomorrow. See the Wregenie
> especially.
> >> muhahaha
> >>
> >> Sorry to get off the subject at hand. I am here
> to
> >> talk about this. If I do go to bed soon, I'll be
> >> read my mail again around 10AM est.
> >>
> >> ~turtle
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >------------------------------------------------------------
> >> LordsofPain.net - Insider Wrestling News and
> >> Information
> >> Click here -> http://www.lordsofpain.net
> >
> >
> >__________________________________________________
> >Do You Yahoo!?
> >Make a great connection at Yahoo! Personals.
> >http://personals.yahoo.com
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> LordsofPain.net - Insider Wrestling News and
> Information
> Click here -> http://www.lordsofpain.net







> >Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 07:14:08 -0700 (PDT)
> why why why why "ms. turtle2hug"
><from: Die
> <TO: turtle2hug@lordsofpain.net>
> >Wow....that is pretty weak.
> >
> >liveaudiowrestling.com is a website that I found
> from
> >a link on the main page of LOP years ago. It's
> pretty
> >stupid that I get banned when I did not actually
> >"link" the site, I figured it's ok as long as you
> >don't actually "link" something (by using
>

> >)I thought that was the rule.
> >
> >I have no investment in the LAW, but it is a
> >well-known site that was supported by LOP for quite
> a
> >while.It's retarded to think that people can't make
> >reference to a well-known site for discussion
> purposes
> >(especially, when I didn't "link" the site.) I
> don't
> >recall the people who mentioned wwf.com, new bios
> at
> >WCW.com or Goldberg's site during the Goldberg/Tito
> >fued being banned,over half the place would be
> gone.
> >
> >I think my post could've just been quickly edited
> like
> >they have been in the past.
> >
> >oh well...whatever...surely it will be your loss ;)
> >
> >hugs,
> >die
--- "ms. turtle2hug" <turtle2hug@lordsofpain.net> wrote:
> I can’t believe you replied with a less than
> respectful message. I told you we could discuss for
> a reason and not for you to get smart. This is the
> rule: “No advertising/mention of another wrestling
> website by name or url. We know many of you will cry
> all day long and throw a fit about this one, but
> that's the rule. Deal with it.” -- Contrary to what
> people believe, we do not allow posting or
> mentioning wrestling url’s in the message board
> because it gets out of hand. It becomes a wasteland
> of website discussion instead of what it is meant to
> be. If we were worried about giving hits away or
> promoting other sites we would never do it on the
> main news board (which receives 50 times the hits
> than the message board). On the other end, just
> because something is linked on the main page does
> not mean it is fair game in the message board. We
> have always allowed parody sites and fan sites but
> this rule is more than likely going to change soon
> (to my dislike).
>
> I always get disappointed when I have to uphold the
> rules with members who should know better. It is
> never easy or ‘fun’ to ban members, regardless of
> what anyone thinks.
>
> We normally give people a second chance but if you
> are going to be disrespectful about it I don’t know
> why I should bother? I’m not trying to be a bitch,
> but shit I don’t have to deal with it. These are the
> rules, we are not asking you to like them just abide
> by them.
>
> ~turtle



Then she begged me to come back.
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Shwiggie
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by Shwiggie » Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:53 am

This person's very life was invested in a damn message board. A normal person would have either let it slide or simply edited the post and told you the reason, and that would have been it.

I say this as a former admin of a board with fifteen-hundred members at the time. This type of person is so consumed in their "duty" to mind every potential infraction that they inflate minor ones to this level and become irrationally defensive over it. I've seen entire conversations in closed staff forums where people like this would get up in arms over this sort of stuff.

It would start as an infraction, but then a respect problem would be claimed (as this one did), and then the staff would bandy it about until the poster was made out to be a total asshole that the assembly deems worthy of banishment, since the rest of the staff will naturally either assume the take of the patrolling moderator or stand with them out of "duty" to the board. This is due to one individual's need for personal vindication...to win at something over a helpless user.

The most smarmy part happens when peripheral staffers just pretend like they didn't see it. When public drama bullshit ensues, the noncommittal admins may claim ignorance when called on to explain later, thus positioning themselves as the natural arbitrators and straddle the fence. Then the rules get broken out and the admins fuck the posters they have already targeted.

I'm glad to be out of it.
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Zytorg777
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by Zytorg777 » Sat Feb 18, 2012 6:13 pm

I had no idea it was that serious Kim ?
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die
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by die » Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:22 pm

I think she wanted to have cybersex with me.
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die
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Re: The Best of CAWR (Create-A-Wrestling-Rumor)

Post by die » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:57 pm

Image

Image

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