Fuck those who get into wrecks when I'm going or coming home from work: you are officially fucking up the rotation and it is time to retire from driving.
Which makes the circle complete because I hate the people who place roadside memorials on the side of the road for those people who die in those traffic accidents.
Fuck your couch, they should've never gave you money
Fuck polite small talk
To be more accurate, fuck people who are boring and/or do not have similar interests and want to talk to you about those shitty interests. The worst thing to try to sit & listen to is somebody who talks about shit that does not interest you at all. For instance...
some douche at work:
Hey Die, that was a kick ass game last night, wasn't it?
Hell no fag, the Saints lost
some douche at work:
Naw man, I'm talkin about that hockey game.
motherfucker, I got work to do.
See, the polite small talk would have been ok if it would've been about something worth discussing.
Fuck women who talk about their tits/ass in front of you but then get offended the second you express the tiniest hint of healthy heterosexual attraction.
I have never encountered that. I was dating this chick once and her sister would always talk to me about how she was working out & how tight her body was getting. I'd say "Yeah, that's great" and she'd say "No really, feel my tits....feel my ass". Damn, that was good stuff. It just all depends on the situation. The chick has to be the one being forward in most cases. You have to let the sexual tension build up to the right level.
Fuck the rednecks who make a living making meth - I hope your shit blows up
The good news here is that alot of the time, their shit does blow up. That's always funny for me.
Fuck my whorey friend that I stood up for after people were calling her out for acting like a total slut at a party, who denied flashing her tits and offering oral sex to random people. Only later (as in today) to be shown photographic proof! Thanks for letting me stand up for your "honor" and now thanks for the honor of me calling people up and telling them that "I was wrong she is a whore sorry for yelling" No and bitch, you weren't that drunk!
Never stand up for whores unless you just plan on using your good deed status to get in on the oral sex deal. Otherwise, what's my motivation?
Fuck Sluts who blame their behavior on alcohol
Alcohol is not a drug that suddenly makes you act in ways that you never would have, it just lowers your resistence to fight your natural tendencies. Sorry ladies, if you want a bukkake party on your face while drunk it's probably because you want it while sober too, and just are afraid to go all the way.
This is actually the greatest benefit of alcohol. This is exactly how you and a friend get to run the train on a chick at a party. We all know they wanted to do it anyway.
I personally love sluts who blame their behavior on alcohol because it gives them an excuse for the next time...and the next time..and the next...
Finally Fuck you Little High School Fuck Fuck Game playing Twats
Fuck that bitch who tells a girl I'm interested in that she thinks I'm trying to screw her ugly ass because I bought her a fucking drink. I bought you a fucking drink because you bought me one, but from now on I won't return the favor.
It's just like oral sex, you don't have to return the favor.
Also, only buy a chick a drink if you want to screw her. Why buy a bitch a drink to get her drunk so some other dude can bang her?
Fuck the Family Guy
I actually like that show. But South Park is more funny, better written, and actually coherent.
I agree 110%.
That is the best thing that I have read this week.
2. She's a cunt. I'd also enjoy smashing her head in with a rock afterwards, like a champion caveman.
Fuck Dr. Phil. As you can tell from this post, I give much better advice, have more hair & look much less like a orange country fried catfish in the face.
Fuck Oprah too.
fuck message boards that aren't as fun to read as tehstyleguide, in other words, fuck all other message boards.