Top 30 Facts About Mr. T

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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die
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Post by die » Mon Nov 21, 2005 3:13 am

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.


that's great.
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die
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Post by die » Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:21 pm

good stuff....

Chuck Norris does not have your normal human-style, male nipples. He has a Dodge Ram hood ornament on each pec, and both rams blow smoke out of their noses each and every time he pumps Christy Brinkley.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Chuck!" He is still there to this day.
Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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$nave
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Post by $nave » Wed Nov 30, 2005 5:24 am

:lol:
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Wed Nov 30, 2005 6:45 am

That one about the sun kidney punched me and stole my lunch money.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:51 pm

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
This one made me do a flair flop off my desk and onto my trash can...
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die
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Post by die » Thu Dec 01, 2005 2:27 pm

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
The top 3 causes of death in this country are Heart Disease, Cancer and Mr. T ripping out your soul.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.


:lol:


The Chuck Norris ones are probably killing me the best of all...
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

They should make a list for Sovi3t.
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Shwiggie
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Post by Shwiggie » Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:28 pm

While not as good in general and starring a lesser personality, some of the ones for Vin Diesel weren't bad at all.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.

Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

To attain inner peace, Vin Diesel eats Buddhists.
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die
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Post by die » Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:02 pm

This will always be great since the top 30 change...



Mr. T wasn't born, he shed a woman.




When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.




When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.




Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.



Bullets dodge Chuck Norris



Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.




Chuck Norris waited patiently in Al Capone’s vault for 63 years just so he could give Geraldo Rivera the surprise beating of his lifetime.


It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
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Robert Paulson
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Post by Robert Paulson » Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:13 am

Chuck norris clogs the toilet, even when he pees
Pwned!
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"I don't make promises, I make threats" - Some yelling black lady
cYnical wrote:The philosophical suggestion that pain don't hurt caused a paradigm shift in my life that I'm still not sure I've fully recovered from.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:30 pm

Chuck has discovered the 30 facts website and he likes it!

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=1

[/quote]
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cYnical
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Post by cYnical » Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:43 pm

That Chuck Norris.

What a great guy.
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die
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Post by die » Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:53 pm

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET


I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
I'm glad he liked it, because if he didn't , he'd roundhouse kick the internet so hard that .............
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Bloodrose
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Post by Bloodrose » Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:36 pm

Actually, he is not happy about this. He's only pretending that he is liking it, as to lure everyone into a false sense of security, then he will roundhouse kick everyone when we are least expecting it.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:15 pm

:lmao: :lmao:
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TheWholeFNShow
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Post by TheWholeFNShow » Wed Jan 11, 2006 3:30 am

Chuck Norris' bloodtype is KO
:lmao: :lmao:
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