Each individual hair in Chuck Norris' beard, has a beard of it's own.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
"The road less traveled" is less traveled because Chuck Norris lives on it.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
There is another Skywalker....
Amazing.$nave wrote:Chuck Norris is so much of a man that Christy Brinkley refuses to do Total Gym commercials with him again after developing a full beard from what doctors say was a "contact high" of testosterone.
I want a movie that casts Richard Karn as Chuck Norris' dopey brother, whom he must avenge.
"I don't want to completely destroy you, I hope that through our arguments you become smarter and/or more like myself."--die
These are still kicking me to sleep.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight.
Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.
Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His cowboy boot.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only "not kill".
There is another Skywalker....