Create-A-SoVi3t-Tale-Of-Tail

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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Repo Man
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Create-A-SoVi3t-Tale-Of-Tail

Post by Repo Man » Wed Aug 24, 2005 2:52 pm

So I was watching ROADHOUSE the other night and that got me to thinking. Remember the scene where Swayze catches the bouncer banging the hot chick in the backroom and fires him? Something similiar to that happened to me and my friend one night after work.

My roommate called me up and it sounded like he was breathing real heavy, so I asked him, "What's up?" He said he was saying goodbye to his girlfriend, so I knew what that meant. Hell, she "said goodbye" to me twice before I left for work that afternoon. He doesn't know it, so YOWZA!

So he asked if wanted to meet up at this club for a few beers, so I said fine. My shift was over, I collected my last toll and I made my way over to the bar. The bouncer let us in and a waitress comes up and asks us what we are drinking. I said, "You honey." So she asked her manager for a break and we went out to my car and I banged her in the trunk of my car.

When I got back in, my friend was already making out with two girls who appeared to be pornstars, so I slipped my hand under the one's dress and instantly made her orgasm. She said it was the best she ever had.

We decided to play a a game of pool with these two college girls wearing bikinis and we played strip pool. We won and instead of stripping down, they smeared baby oil on themselves and went ass-to-ass with a 12 foot dildo on top of the table as we cheered them on.

Later when we were leaving, these two chicks appeared to be waiting for a ride, so we offered to drop them off. They said cool and they ended up living in a sorority house and all of their sisters had just been dumped by their boyfriends the previous night. We went inside and smoked some grass and managed to have sex with every single girl in there - twice. By the end, my gun was so empty, I began shooting out knee cartilage.

Then we left and when we got back to our place, my roommate's girl was there, but he was so tired from that night, he went to sleep. I was tired too, but still did 69 with her before she passed out.

What does this have to do with ROADHOUSE? Oh yeah, some guy at the bar looked like Sam Elliott.
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madskills
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Post by madskills » Wed Aug 24, 2005 5:19 pm

man, your sig reminded me of this time I was at Church, making out with this Russian chick in the peu. The funniest part was that my girlfriend was sitting right on the other side of me. Luckily she's a supermodel, so she didn't care. So after Church we decide to go out for a few drinks, and on the way to the bar we pass, and I'm not lying here, a director shooting a porno in the park. He runs up to me and says his actor never showed up, asks me if I could fill-in. I'm thinking shit, why do these things always happen to me, I just wanted to go out for a drink with my girlfriend and this russian chick (who was a supermodel too). But whatever, I fuck this totally hot girl on camera, and because I'm apparantly the "greatest she's ever had", she wants to go out for a drink with us too. I tell 'em I gotta stop at Costco and pick up my paycheck cuz the fuckers still won't let me do direct deposit, and I find out Costco just hired three of the hottest fucking chicks I'd ever seen. So we're all fucking, thing are going great, and then I wake up in my bed . . . it was all a dream. The thing is, I then realize I am in bed with, no lie, 8 chicks hotter than any of the ones in my dream, and I apparantly just fucked them all last night.

But yea, your sig reminded me of that, funny
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TheWholeFNShow
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Post by TheWholeFNShow » Wed Aug 24, 2005 6:12 pm

Your name reminds me of about a week ago when I was moving in.

So I just got out of the hot tub with these 3 hot girls, two of which were pornstars the other of which was really hot. We were all naked of course. So then the hot gets out of the tub and randomly starts to give me head. When then the pornstars get jealous and join in. So after I please all three three times each, I get off and then we say goodbye.

So then I'm driving home, and then I get ready to go out for a little bit. So I'm walking to the bowling alley with my friends and we decide to play three games of bowling. Of course, I proceed to throw three perfect three hundred games. The bowling alley owner is so impressed he lets me screw his daughter who mind is you is pretty hot. So I screw her and then my friends I go to a club where we're drinking.

And then you wouldn't believe who walked up and talked to me. You guessed it. Vida Guerrera herself. So she's like "Hey baby, let's fuck." See at this point, I'm not really that tired, because I've only fucked four girls. So I'm like "Later guys." and then we go back to my place where I fuck Vida Guerrera.

Great time really. Oh, and it reminds me of your name cause she was screaming I got "mad skills".
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lionheart
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Post by lionheart » Wed Aug 24, 2005 6:23 pm

Your avatar reminds me of last weekend.

I was at the strip bar with my girlfriend, who loves to head down there with me, and this Stacy Kiebler looking chick comes out and starts spinning her shit around, really looking terrific. She gives my girlfriend a wink, and then the two of them are with me in the bathroom. My girlfriend is tossing my salad while the stripper is blowing me, and I end up busting a huge load all over her face. She kept it there, because she was so proud of being with me.

When we left, I finished my fourth bottle of absinthe and started driving out. I had to swing by to tell my asshole boss at Stop & Shop that I was all done pushing his carriages. She apologized, let me rail her up the ass quickly, and gave me a raise.

As I was walking down the street, pushing my carriage of goodies home, I passed the Playboy Mansion. I know I live in Canada, but shut the fuck up, this is my story...
"Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost!"
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madskills
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Post by madskills » Wed Aug 24, 2005 6:56 pm

That's funny that you mention salad, I fucked this waitress under the salad bar at Olive Garden last weekend, funny stuff
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:31 pm

Funny you mentioned Olive Garden.

I met this extremely hot chick named Olive last week. She was working in her garden as I was on my way to work. She is an older lady and friends with my mom. She called me over and asked if I wanted help with her tomatoes. I knew what that meant. Next thing you know I am sipping Stoli's out of her bra and teabagging her beside the turnips.

I was almost late for work - but I managed to make it in time.

And guys you know this shit is true!
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die
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Post by die » Thu Aug 25, 2005 2:19 pm

It's funny that you should mention Gay Pride Mardi Gras, This whole thread reminds me of the time I made a thread about the time that I had a 3 way with this really hot goth chick from my school and her dad. We sacrificed a goat and fucked on the patio furniture. Oh yeah, but first we smoked a huge bowl. Goat blood is sexy.
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There is another Skywalker....
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:08 pm

FYI - I banged some chick from the Red Cross this weekend who looked like Cameron Diaz's hotter sister. BOOYAH!
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Robert Paulson
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Post by Robert Paulson » Thu Sep 08, 2005 6:20 am

Funny you should mention red crosses because I was watching Snoopy as the Red Baron in Snoopy on Ice, and Peppermint Patty gave me the eye. So I tagged her and Marcy with costumes on in front of the whole crowd.

Anyway if you want to get pussy like that you need to watch Hitch and carry a flask, some smokes, and roofies. losers!
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"I don't make promises, I make threats" - Some yelling black lady
cYnical wrote:The philosophical suggestion that pain don't hurt caused a paradigm shift in my life that I'm still not sure I've fully recovered from.
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Thu Sep 08, 2005 1:46 pm

So I wanted to help the Katrina victims, right?

I went down to Louisiana and was puttering around on my boat and saw three people standing on their roof waving for help. To my surprise it was three pornstars, or at least strippers. Whatever gets me net cred.

I picked them up and they were so grateful I had smokes on me, we orgied on the boat and almost capsized it.

After the National Guard showed up and rescued us from drowning, I took down the guys names and addresses and while they were working, I went each of their homes and banged their wives.

And on my way back to USSR, I stopped and banged a sexy tree, a park bench and a half eaten tastykake.

Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a tasykake.
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lionheart
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Post by lionheart » Thu Sep 08, 2005 8:01 pm

"Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost!"
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:32 pm

Funny your sig should mention bums. I once voluteered for a day at a homeless shelter, but spent the whole time deflowering the 50 year old nun who ran the place.
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SoVi3t
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Post by SoVi3t » Sun Sep 25, 2005 7:47 pm

http://www.vampirefreaks.com/pics/scarletfang/

hopefully Die can remember her :)
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Zytorg's mother sucks my dick for bus fare then walks home
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:03 pm

Hopefully? That is so sad.


Now I need to know. Please explain why being thought of as the second coming of Peter North so important.
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SoVi3t
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Post by SoVi3t » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:26 pm

Repo Man wrote:Hopefully? That is so sad.
It was actually meant to help the thread. In case Die forgets, hopefully Mackdogg can remind him of GGMF

Now I need to know. Please explain why being thought of as the second coming of Peter North so important.
When did I ever say that? I don't care who you think I fucking am. I merely have a ton of sex in my life. Go troll somebody else for awhile. You're boring me now, Repo Girl
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Zytorg's mother sucks my dick for bus fare then walks home
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