The OBSOLETE list

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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die
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The OBSOLETE list

Post by die » Tue May 17, 2005 3:15 pm

Who else gets tired of people still swearing by outdated shit? Sometimes I just want to make a list for everybody to read and go by, so here it goes...



VHS tapes.... I will give videotapes away. The quality is so shitty now, why even bother? I can't believe people still have big collections of them. They are so bulky and shitty and a collection will take up 40% of your house. The same goes for audio cassettes.

I actually know some fuckers at work who rent DVD's and record them to VHS. wtf :shock:


Windows 98... Why do some people fear XP so much?


Boy Bands... Dude...it's over now, nobody cares...not that we really did the first time around 5 or 6 years ago.

The 80's bounty Hunter look...You know these dudes. The Miami Vice Betamax Margaritaville texmex look. I see one of these guys all the time. Long mulleted hair, half-buttoned Hawaiian shirt, torn faded jeans, beard, silver or gold tipped cowboy boots. They always look like they just left a party from 1991.

The "Gaydar Overloader" clich'gay guy for the gay guy guy... These are the gay guys on reality shows that are so cliche' gay that the actually overload gaydar. When did being completely supergay become such a cash cow? It's hard for me to imagine that these dudes can get rich by wearing womens shoes, shag haircuts, pink button ups and talking with an over-the-top lisp. Does being gay make you somehow a better designer or image consultant? Did America just decide that we should turn to gay guys for all types of advice? How about that super gay dude from Extreme Makeover Home Edition (Homo Edition)?


this guy:

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This guy is so flamboyantly gay, I'm willing to bet he has a purse with a tea cup chihuaha named "Fondue" in it.

what you got ?
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Tue May 17, 2005 6:31 pm

Reality shows - This shit started with SURVIVOR and AMERICAN IDOL and I now I see previews for shit like wifeswapping and kid tossing and jerking off in a paper cup while having everyone else think the cup is a real celebrity....but it's not. How much more real life can I be subjected too? Do I even need to go out and live? Will Fox be starting up MY BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS BOWEL MOVEMENT anytime soon? Enough.

Law and Order shows - Lenny is dead. So should this franchise be. Stick with LAW & ORDER. The original. Sam Waterson kicks ass. Stop with SVU and CSI and PUD and FU2. I buy Ice-T as a cop. I saw that in New Jack City. Richard Belzer, no. Every guy from OZ? No. I actually watched a portion of CSI: WHEREVER and it was like watching The Matrix. The guy actually explained to the criminal how he drew an ink sample from a ransom note and knew that that kind of ink was only manufactured in a certain year that coincided with him graduating. I would have told that cop to try to sell that shit in court and then lick my dog's ass. Just stupid. Fuck the West Wing, too.

Shows about fat guys with hot wives - Or otherwise known as HONEYMOONERS 2000. Life with Jim, King of Queens, the other one with Jamie Gertz. We get it. Dude is fat. Fucking hilarious.

FRIENDS - I have seen every frigg'in episode. Monica dated Magnum PI. Chandler's dad is gay. Joey eats. You bought the syndication rights. Super. Now bury the tapes. There is only one sitcom I could watch in syndication on a continous loop.


Without sports and movie channels, TV sucks now.
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Post by PhreakyMex » Tue May 17, 2005 6:52 pm

There is only one sitcom I could watch in syndication on a continous loop.
One wonders what that is...
Will Fox be starting up MY BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS BOWEL MOVEMENT anytime soon?
A-FUCKING-MEN to that...
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Post by die » Tue May 17, 2005 7:18 pm

Man, I don't get the fat dudes with MILFs shows either. I guess it's supposed to be some type of moral booster or something, but damn.

I'll add this....

The Thug Look...I think black dudes need some type of style apocolypse to happen. The saggy pants gangsta thug look has been done as far as it can go. It's time for a change.
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Post by Repo Man » Tue May 17, 2005 8:01 pm

Comic Book Movies - Listen, there are only a handful of superheroes who deserve to have movies made about them, and producers are even fucking them up left and right. So now I get shitty movies about B-List heroes? GhostRider? Hellboy? Spawn? Come on now.

I need to stop typing now to get mentally prepared for Jet-Li as Sub-Mariner in 2007 and MaCauley Culkin as AquaMan in 2010.
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Post by die » Tue May 17, 2005 8:13 pm

Justin Timberlake is my Aquaman, Culkin is my Aqualad.



Armchair movie critics...Aintitcoolnews.com should be called aintitcooltobecynical.com. I swear, all they do is bitch and piss and over-analyze everything to the point where you wonder why the fuck do they even watch movies at all? I mean, you can probably count the only movies they actually allow themselves to enjoy on one hand. They should just stick to worrying about who will be first to post in a talkback and call it a day. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for calling bullshit on bad films, but I mean "damn". They put unreal expectations on everything they watch. I actually hate most movie reviewers in general, they try to be all intellectual and compare all movies to theatrical productions, plays, operas, etc. Check out this Revenge of the Sith review:

http://www.newyorker.com/critics/cinema ... rci_cinema

Why overanalyze a Star Wars flick to the point of making a total cock out of yourself? My review would probably just consist of "Hey, the lightsaber battles were cool but Anakin is a pussy still" What's the purpose of trying to compare it to some highbrow yuppie fag shit constantly?

Sure, Dawn of the Dead wasn't some fucking theatrical materpiece of film and stage, but it had a naked zombie chick and a dude getting hit by a car, so I was owned by it.
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Post by Repo Man » Tue May 17, 2005 8:24 pm

"Pardon the Around the Horn Interruptions" shows - How many fucking shows with writers debating sports can we have in one week? It is to the point now where people who heard things that people may have said become stories and facilitate HOURS of debate. And the numbskulls like Michael Wilbon and that Max guy and Rome is burning wear me out. They may know the game, but why do I care that T.O. may or may not show up for training camp? Why do I care that Jeff Van Gundy said four refs called Yao Ming a chink?

I watch the games. That is enough.
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Post by baxojayz » Wed May 18, 2005 2:07 pm

die wrote: Armchair movie critics...
Just as bad, I hate those dudes who decree that movies are bad BEFORE they see them, or even before the movie even finishes production. WTF?
~Bob
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die
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Post by die » Wed May 18, 2005 3:33 pm

indeed. Those peeps are also posting at aintitcoolnews daily. :lol:

I hate all the fuckers that say they've seen an advanced screening of the movie, but they don't want to give away spoilers and then they want to be given credit for the info yet they don't want to give their real name, just a gay username.

"If you use this info just credit me as Manmustard Tastetester 0007"

They also can't ever spell good.
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Post by Repo Man » Wed May 18, 2005 3:34 pm

die wrote:"If you use this info just credit me as Manmustard Tastetester 0007"

Isn't that the name of RobotJerk's new landscaper?



HSN or QVC - Holy Lord in Heaven. Mrs. Repo watches this noise religiously. How many cubic zirconia foot rings can you own? How can a silver-faux diamond encrusted elephant pendant change your life? Every woman that calls in sounds like she is calling from the rotary phone outside the clubhouse of the trailer park. And these women made up like clowns pimp this junk like its directly from the Tiffany's catalog.

I am all for women spending less for imitation jewlery as it keeps my costs down, but those TV shows make me want to throw myself onto a railroad spike.
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Post by Acidevil » Wed May 18, 2005 5:08 pm

Nintendo

What with their GameBoy Micro and Revolution, the big N is ready to take its rightful spot on the throne of videogames once again. Nintendon't will accomplish this by making the GameBoy Advance even smaller so only children can manipulate it or you'll lose it in the wash or between the cushions of the couch, along with the remote and some cookie crumbs. They will also create a revolutionary console that admittedly isn't nearly as powerful as other systems of the next generation and will allow downloadable versions of old ass Nintendo IP, including NES, SNES, and N64 games, all in a package the size of three DVD cases. How many times is Nintendo going to offer up the same 20 year old garbage as innovative and revolutionary and charge artificially high prices for the content? Everyone drop trou and take a big ole dump on Nintendo. They are irrelevant.
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Post by Repo Man » Wed May 18, 2005 5:13 pm

Spoken like someone who lives in his parents' basement.
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Post by Sparkstalker » Wed May 18, 2005 6:59 pm

Unfortunately, he's got a point. For the big stage that is E3, Nintendo's announcements so far are lacking horribly. Whereas Sony and MS are pushing forward with their new consoles and games, Nintendo's main announcements are revamping an old HW platoform, and announcing that their next generation will be able to play NES and SNES games.

Whoop-de-fucking-do.
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Post by die » Wed May 18, 2005 7:11 pm

Nintendo is going out like a bitch @ e3.
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Post by Acidevil » Thu May 19, 2005 1:02 am

Repo Man wrote:Spoken like someone who lives in his parents' basement.
:no:

More than likely, anyone who buys into Nintendo's bullshit this time around still lives at home.

They're going to have to pull off some amazing shit to get anyone on board other than the fanboys. Sadly, they seem steadfast in catering only to a niche market that gets smaller and smaller every 5 years. Kids these days don't give a fuck about Nintendo. Only people in their 20s and 30s do.
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