I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but fuck it, vinyl made a huge comeback.
I know that we were all raised differently. I know that there are habits and people speak certain ways for what ever the reason may be... but holy fucking water wizard jetski jumpin Jayzus, why do all of my work emails read like this:
^ that is the visual representation of how the emails look.
Motherfuckers, if I can write an email without saying DUDE or RAD or MTN Dew, motherfucking surely your ass can write an email without saying shit like WE TAKIN UP MONIES TODAY IF YOU WON'T TOO DONATE CUZ MR. LARRY MOMMA DIE
Put a fucking S where it belongs, not where it doesn't belong. If your ass worked in housekeeping or some shit, cool, however, they gave you a fucking degree and put you in a motherfucking office. At least try to act like you belong there sometimes. Emails shouldn't look like I logged onto RAPLYRICS.ORG
You know what... fuck it. You are the reason Mr. Larry's mother is dead. Your grammar gave her sickle cell and your punctuation gave her diabetes. Typing in all caps cut her foot off.
travel back in time and lick a ankylosaurus's dickhole, you cliché ratchet hoodrat hoebag.
Also, since I mentioned WORK... the next person at work who starts a discussion off with MY THING IS
is going to receive a fucking flaming shoryuken into a ceiling fan. Bitch, nobody cares what your thing is. There's the truth, there's lies and then there's however the fuck you feel. I'm willing to listen to 2 out of those 3. Go eat a southern rockhopper penguin turd quesadilla, you vibrant shit-stain on social awareness.
Also, I hate those fucking commercials about Dancing with The Stars. WHO GIVES A FUCK WHO'S THE MYSTERY PEOPLE ON THERE THIS SEASON, IT IS FUCKING DANCING, IT IS DUMB.
launch bottle rockets into your own uncle's butthole meat, you delinquent fucknuts.
Is it not to much to ask that if my boss has to be a lesbian, could she at least look like Mia Khalifa or Dillon Harper instead of PEDRO FROM NAPOLEON DYNAMITE AS A 16 YEAR OLD SKATEBOARDER? Whatever I did in life to deserve this, let me openly say I AM SORRY. This bitch looks like Nacho Libre's tag partner at the X-Games and shit. I want to superglue my dick to my forehead and do a Metroid roll into strip mall traffic on Black Friday.
HEY LOOK IT'S THURSDAY, LET'S ALL RUN STOP SIGNS!!!11 -Said every other motherfucker on the road
Oh and wtf is up with expiration dates on shit now? They are all over the place. I feel like I gotta check everything. I get dates from November 2147 all the way back to December 2004 on new shit I buy. THAT'S QUITE A DIFFERENCE THERE.
Fuck this, I'm taking off work tomorrow.