The Official ROADHOUSE thread

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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die
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The Official ROADHOUSE thread

Post by die » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:40 pm

Roadhouse was the best movie that ever sucked.

Yeah, that's the best way to describe it....

First off, it had Pat Swayze, a guy that all guys should hate but just couldn't in this film. Sure, he seemed like a pussy playing macho in the film and he made odd looking faces that made him look like a somber rooster....

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...but somehow he got his ass kicked just enough for us to tolerate him. Then there was Sam Elliot, who was a cooler more cocky verision of your dad. Then there was that other bad guy karate dude who looked like he came straight out of one of the Best of The Best/ Don The Dragon Wilson straight-to-VHS specials. Then there was that hot blonde chick who got up and stage and stripped (her tits owned). Then there was that chick with the butterface. Oh and best of all, there was Terry Funk who made the movie a must-see.

What I'm trying to say is that Roadhouse was awesome even though it sucked.
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Post by RobotJerk » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:19 am

"You're going to be my new Saturday night thing!"
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Post by Repo Man » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:19 pm

I am falling down on my knees, weeping like a born again Christian.

ROADHOUSE is in my top ten of classic movies. right up there with THE CROW, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and CADDYSHACK.

There is no other movie where Swayze comes off as being a little less than his usually faggy self. There is no other movie where Sam Elliott seems a little less tough than a ballet dancer. There is no other movie where the random bimbo is actually hotter than the female lead. I own it. It owns me. I can nver NOT watch it when it's on. You have got my creative juices flowing, so let's have some fun:


The Players


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Dalton

Classic line #1: "Pain don't hurt."
Classic Line #2: "Be nice."
Classic Line #3: "It's my way or the highway."

Classic line said to him: "I thought you'd be bigger." (everybody)


Toughness rating: 10



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Wade Garrett

Disturbing line: "There's a sign above the urinal that says, 'Don't eat the big white men'"

Classic line said to him: "Mind your own businees, DAD!" (Morgan)


Toughness rating: 8



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Brad Wesley

Classic line #1: "I thought it would be fun to fight you Dalton, but now I just don't have the time."
Classic line #2: "ELVIS - PLAY SOMETHING WITH BALLS!"

Toughness rating: 6



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Jimmy

Classic line: "Say goodnight, Denise."

Disturbing line: "I USED TO FUCK GUYS LIKE YOU IN PRISON!"


Toughness rating: 9


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Denise

Classic line that only a gay dude would say NO to: "Would you be shocked if I said let's go to my place and fuck?" (immediately followed by Jimmy's classic line)

Hottness rating: 14


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Steve

Classic line: (already covered by RobotJerk)

Funny moment not supposed to be: After Dalton serves him in fron the entire bar staff, he begins to rip his napkin angrily.


Toughness rating: 5


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Right Boot

I don't care what IMDB calls his character, Dalton identifies him as "Right Boot", so his name is "Right Boot"

Classic line said to him before a breaking of the foot: "You're too STUPID to have a good time!" (Dalton)

Toughness rating (with boot spike): 4
Toughness rating (without boot spike): 2



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Morgan

Classic set-up line #1: "You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dumptruck, but, ah.....you don't look like shit to me."
Served by Dalton #1: "Opinions vary."

Classic set-up line #2 (after being handed his walking papers): "You asshole, what am I supposed to do now?"
Served by Dalton #2: "There's always barber college."

Toughness rating: 7



And finally.....


If you didn't already enjoy ROADHOUSE for it's cheesy B-movie quality, it's corny-ass tough guy lines that make you laugh unintentionally or even when they throw the bottle at the Jeff Healy behind the cage (YOU'RE PAID TO PLAY - NOW PLAY!), here is one more reason to love it.

Remember the scene where the guy offers the other guy the opportunity to kiss his wife's tits? You remember - 10 a kiss? This pretty much starts the whole bar fight the very first time Dalton is in the Double Deuce. He never had a name, but here is a picture of the actor:

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Of course you know who this is, right?


Well, here is some of his other work:

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I checked IMDB and it's the same Chris Latta. Now I have to go back and watch ROADHOUSE to see if I can pick up any of those charcters when he is talking.
Last edited by Repo Man on Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by $nave » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:42 pm

Roadhouse is a classic... where else can you see Terry Funk and a blind blues guitar star in the same movie. It has a little something for everybody

If I had it all to do again, this place would be called "The Double Deuce" in honour of this cinema epic

Q: You gonna fight dickless?
A: Well, I sure aint gonna show you my dick!

TBS should have a Roadhouse day since they showed it so many times in the past... Roadhouse & They Live in a megaloop for one weekend = good times
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Post by die » Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:23 pm

Chris Latta R.I.P

Man, I miss that dude's voice.



Up until a few years back, I hadn't realized how busy the Gi Joe voices had been. They've appeared in lots of stuff. Latta was also credited under a few other names in other films if I remember correctly.
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Post by Shwiggie » Fri Feb 11, 2005 8:20 pm

Man, I'm still dying from "somber rooster" Image
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Post by RobotJerk » Fri Feb 11, 2005 11:45 pm

Did Kelly Lynch use a butt double?
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Post by Repo Man » Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:01 am

No, that was her own ugly ass.
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Post by die » Mon Feb 14, 2005 5:38 pm

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Post by Repo Man » Mon Feb 14, 2005 5:59 pm

I feel like a just did a bit in OZ after looking at that mvoie poster.


Fez as Dalton is JEST RONG!
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Post by RobotJerk » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:36 am

I had a free coupon and was all syked to see "Roadhouse" on DVD, but my local Blcokbuster didn't even have it in stock, so I got "The Returner" instead.
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Post by Jesus Las Vegas » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:09 pm

Chris Latta has to be the best voice actor ever to appear. Seriously, his voice could make an average cartoon fantastic.

Did any of you ever see Visionaries? He did a whole load of the voices for that and it was quite a big hit in the UK. I swear he had the best anguished howl.
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Post by die » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:38 pm

check this out:


http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0584395/


The hot chick who stripped has actually done a ton of stuntwork & she still looks hot.

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Post by Repo Man » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:45 pm

Look at Swayze throwing her a bone in POINTBREAK.

Of course I meant giving her a role in the movie. Patrick Sawyze would never bang a female co-star and then dump her like trash. He would much rather dance with them and ask them about their feelings.

Now Don Swayze?

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That man would've karate-fucked Denise until her head bled sperm.

"Say Goodnight, Denise!"
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Post by die » Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:15 pm

Don don't fuck around, believe that.


The Swayze boys looks straight up like Opossums.

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