Craziest peeps of the forever

THE BESTEST STUFFS OF THE EVERS!!11!
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die
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Post by die » Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:34 pm

Those pics kill me. :lol:

She's lucky she didn't have a heart attack when she was a fatass. I watched one episode of her show where she was on the couch eating fried chicken, a box of white donuts and a gallon of strawberry Quik. :shock:

add all the hard drugs on top and you've got the recipe for death. Hell, the Strawberry Quik alone would kill me dead.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:52 pm

Hell, the Strawberry Quik alone would kill me dead
:lmao:
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die
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Post by die » Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:19 pm

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This dude has claimed some crazy shit throughout his "career". He killed me when he told his story of Suge Knight making him go poopy on himself with terror.

A physically huge man, Knight has been accused of acts of violence including forcing business rivals to drink urine and having extensive ties to street gangs, specifically the Bloods. Rapper Vanilla Ice has accused Knight of dangling him out of a window of a high-rise building several stories up. Vanilla Ice claims that he was forced to agree to grant him a majority of Ice's own royalties, while he had his life in his hands. Even though Suge Knight had business relations with him, Vanilla Ice himself previously also declined the whole balcony story.



"You know, I have no hate towards Suge or nothing like that. I look at that in a positive way because of the fact that, you know, I told you in '94 I tried to commit suicide with $20 million in the bank," he said. "Why would I be bitter today after that, and after everything I been through, on what Suge took from me? And I look at it in a positive way because the money that went towards that--you know, the Death Row thing--also funded the 2Pac record, The Chronic record, you know, some of the best hip-hop records of history. A Snoop Dogg, you know, all of that came from the initial funding of Vanilla Ice."


The only person whose name elicits more snickers and cheap jokes is Monica Lewinksy, but like it or not, white-boy rapper Vanilla Ice has a place in the music history books for recording the top-selling rap album of all time: the 15-million-seller To The Extreme (originally independently released as Hooked), which spent 16 weeks in the No. 1 spot on the Billboard charts. The widespread hatred of the Iceman doesn't have so much to do with his Caucasian skin--Eminem, Kid Rock, 3rd Bass, House Of Pain and, most of all, the Beastie Boys all broke through that color barrier--as with his schlocky music (which has blatantly and unapologetically plagiarized everyone from Queen to Wild Cherry to Cypress Hill), cheesy pinup-boy image (which reached its own extreme in Vanilla's star-vehicle C-movie, Cool As Ice), and a total lack of credibility that has only been exacerbated by numerous stylistic changes and ill-fated comeback attempts. However, the fact that this mediocre Miami rapper scored the biggest chart success in a genre dominated by African-Americans, and invented a phony gangsta past to get respect in the rap world, hardly added to his long-term popularity. Still, it's possible that Ice's accomplishments helped push harder-edged rap into the mainstream--not because he introduced rap to whitebread, middle-class America, or because his unimaginative pilfering of others' material paved the way for charlatans like Puff Daddy, but because Suge Knight allegedly founded Death Row Records with earnings that he extorted from Vanilla by dangling him out a high-story hotel window (or so Ice has claimed).

Born Robert Van Winkle on Oct. 31, 1967, Vanilla Ice debuted in 1990 with "Ice Ice Baby," a maddeningly difficult-to-dislodge-from-one's-brain party anthem built entirely around the bassline from the Queen/ David Bowie duet "Under Pressure." (When defending himself as to why neither Queen nor Bowie were given co-songwriting credit on the tune, Vanilla argued that by adding one extra scratched note to the beginning of the bass riff, he had completely changed it. No one bought that flimsy excuse, however, and the credit was subsequently revised.) The song exploded on MTV and became one of the biggest, just-won't-go-away hits of the year (think of it as the "Macarena" of 1990), popularizing the slogan "Word to your mother" and becoming the first rap single to ever hit No. 1. His equally awful follow-up single, a rap version of Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music (White Boy)," was a similarly huge smash--which was obviously quite calculated, since one of the song's rap verses makes a reference to Vanilla having a No. 1 hit, even though it was recorded before his chart success ever happened.

It seemed nothing could stop (melt?) Ice--not even his completely laughable and mushy love rap "I Love You," a bald-faced ripoff of LL Cool J's "I Need Love" with lyrics that sounded like something a barely literate fourth-grader would compose for his grammar school crush. The Cool As Ice movie (which consisted mainly of montages of Vanilla cruising on his crotch-rocket motorbike and saying tuff stuff like "Drop the zero and get with the hero"), another film appearance in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, endorsements from Nike and Coca-Cola, a tour with M.C. Hammer, the concert album Extremely Live, the autobiography Ice By Ice, and a 1991 American Music Award for Favorite New Artist followed.

By the time he returned in 1994 with a new dreadlocked hairstyle, stoner-dude image and second album (the cannabis-centric Cypress Hill imitation Mind Blowin'), Vanilla Ice's 15 minutes were long used up. It wasn't that the public forgotten him, it was that everyone remembered how terrible his music actually was (in fact, his "Ice Ice Baby" video had been deemed the stupidest video of all time in an MTV viewers' poll, beating out Journey's "Separate Ways" and even Styx's "Mr. Roboto"). Mind Blowin' tanked, and Vanilla, left with not much else to do, developed a drug addiction, at one time nearly dying of an overdose. Publicly, he remained fairly silent for the next few years, except for opening his own extreme sports equipment store in Miami (called 2 The Xtreme) and going on 20/20 to tell the story of his alleged near-fatal encounter with Suge Knight.

Finally, in 1998 (after he got sober and found God), Vanilla Ice re-emerged with the ironically and aptly titled Hard To Swallow. Always one to hop on any bandwagon passing by, this time he'd reinvented himself as a hardcore skate-rocker, complete with goatee, wallet-chain, dyed-red Caesar haircut and a hard new-metal sound (he even went so far as to re-record "Ice Ice Baby," retitled "Too Cold," in a way that was both corny and Korn-y).

Although Vanilla Ice's music has not aged well, and his new output doesn't sound much better, in this late-'90s age of alt-rock slacker irony and '80s kitsch/ nostalgia (true, Vanilla's career began in the '90s, but he's always seemed more like an '80s novelty), he's experiencing a minor renaissance. He's namechecked in the Offspring's "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" and has even joined the Offspring onstage; he's guested on the Bloodhound Gang's One Fierce Beer Coaster LP; and Hard To Swallow was produced by Korn/ Limp Bizkit producer Ross Robinson and features appearances by Lenny Kravitz and the Bloodhound Gang's Jimmy Pop Ali. Indeed, Vanilla Ice has almost become hip again. (I said almost.)


:2up:
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n-MITY
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Post by n-MITY » Wed Jan 19, 2005 9:36 pm

I fucking Hate Ice, with a capital "H". He's a douche with no talent and more failed comebacks than Michael Jordan. Cmon, Vanilla Ice returning to music ala rock genre is like MJ returning to the NBA to join the Wiz.
"I don't want to completely destroy you, I hope that through our arguments you become smarter and/or more like myself."--die
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Thu Jan 20, 2005 3:27 am

It wasn't that the public forgotten him, it was that everyone remembered how terrible his music actually was (in fact, his "Ice Ice Baby" video had been deemed the stupidest video of all time in an MTV viewers' poll, beating out Journey's "Separate Ways" and even Styx's "Mr. Roboto").
Oh, don't drag my beloved theme music into this.
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die
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Post by die » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:01 pm

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How about Ron Howard's brother Clint? Your boy has been around forever with small cameos in tons of films.

This guy is too ugly. I have to squinch my face when I look at him. I wish this guy would've gotten bigger roles over the years so he could afford the Hollywood lifestyle & give himself many, many extreme makeovers.




I hate these battered goat-looking bitches:

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They have to be the most annoying mother/daughter combo in the history of everything. Why does it make sense to have ugly bitches on TV telling you who's ugly?

I can't believe they draw a paycheck for what they do.
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baxojayz
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Post by baxojayz » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:29 pm

die wrote:Image

How about Ron Howard's brother Clint? Your boy has been around forever with small cameos in tons of films.

This guy is too ugly. I have to squinch my face when I look at him. I wish this guy would've gotten bigger roles over the years so he could afford the Hollywood lifestyle & give himself many, many extreme makeovers.
That dude was Chaka from Land of teh Lost. He didn't need the caveman makeup, only the fur suit. Dag, one ugly mofo.
~Bob
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H8
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Post by H8 » Thu Feb 17, 2005 6:00 pm

die wrote: I hate these battered goat-looking bitches:

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They have to be the most annoying mother/daughter combo in the history of everything. Why does it make sense to have ugly bitches on TV telling you who's ugly?

I can't believe they draw a paycheck for what they do.
The daughter looks like she's the offspring of Mr. Ed
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Thu Feb 17, 2005 8:54 pm

I love Clint Howard in THE WATERBOY.

"I AM NOT WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A HANDSOME MAN!"
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Shwiggie
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Post by Shwiggie » Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:45 pm

You can't help but be glad for the guy along the same lines as Bill Shatner and Adam West...you use what God gave you, and if He made you awesomely slap-mah-'fro ugly, a walking parody of yourself 40 years ago, or...well, a walking parody of yourself 40 years ago, you better use it. Besides, he probably gets more cooch than a three-peckered puppy.
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die
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Post by die » Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:07 pm

Ron Howard has come into ugly himself. I saw the Happy Days reunion show on TV the other night and when your boy took off his cap he was a raspberry albino Lemony Snickett looking motherfucker.
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die
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Post by die » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:57 am

I look back on this thread with nothing but warm memories.



I am tempted to remember the first time that I ever saw The White Stripes perform. First impressions are always important & I clearly said to my self:


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Damn, Johnny Depp & Christina Ricci have never looked or sounded worse on alcohol & snack cakes in the '60's.


Retro white trash and pure audio wtf. Seriously, I had no idea what they were playing & why there were only 2 of them playing. The dude looked like Edward ScissorCobain. Then there's all this confusion over whether or not they are brother and sister, husband or wife or ex-husband and ex-wife. It all creeped me out far too damned much to ever really find out the truth. Then he beat the shit out of some dude, right?

then he turns into Captain Jack Sparrow disguised as Zorro disguised as Esteban disguised as Stevie Ray Vaughn.

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craziest peeps of forever.
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Robert Paulson
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Post by Robert Paulson » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:15 am

die wrote: then he turns into Captain Jack Sparrow disguised as Zorro disguised as Esteban disguised as Stevie Ray Vaughn.

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That facial hair looks faker that the airbrushed picture of that girl's tits on the 69 section. It's like he joined the witness protection program but forgot to hide.
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cYnical wrote:The philosophical suggestion that pain don't hurt caused a paradigm shift in my life that I'm still not sure I've fully recovered from.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:38 pm

then he turns into Captain Jack Sparrow disguised as Zorro disguised as Esteban disguised as Stevie Ray Vaughn.
The above statement face punched me like that lady in the OMG forum and stole my drink money! I am PWNED! :shock: :shock:
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n-MITY
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Post by n-MITY » Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:54 pm

PhreakyMex wrote:
then he turns into Captain Jack Sparrow disguised as Zorro disguised as Esteban disguised as Stevie Ray Vaughn.
The above statement face punched me like that lady in the OMG forum and stole my drink money! I am PWNED! :shock: :shock:
Oh Phreaky, you beat me to it. I just laughed loud as a motherfucker at that.
"I don't want to completely destroy you, I hope that through our arguments you become smarter and/or more like myself."--die
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