Ashlee Simpson = dumbass

This shit is bananas...B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
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baxojayz
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Post by baxojayz » Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:59 pm

They've been playing that clip on teh Stern Show for 2 days now. :lol: I'm pwn3d each time I hear it. What is that crap she's screeching? :?
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Sat Jan 08, 2005 2:48 am

MainCoon wrote:Didn't see the football game but apparently she wasn't lip synching this time. :lol:

Listen for the booing.
Telling us to "listen for the booing" is kind of like telling someone viewing footage of the Hindenberg to "watch for the explosion". Kinda hard to miss.
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:00 pm

Quick... everyone sign this petition..... its to get rid of the horrible horrendous cackling cacophony that is Ashlee (my sister is hotter)
Simpson


http://www.petitiononline.com/StopAsh/petition.html
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$nave
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Post by $nave » Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:13 pm

You know how we do this:
43579. Boo Cocky I would allow her to sing if she took a "pop" shot on her face
Here's to hoping that she becomes a real pop star
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Robert Paulson
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Post by Robert Paulson » Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:19 pm

I was signer 43,595, that's a little over 15% of the 285,000 people that bought her album


some of the comments were priceless
One Simpson who got away from OJ.
stop, you cant sing, Your sister is hot, and you have a screwed up nose, so get the fudge out. We all know you sucked off every talent scout to get to where you were today, You can suck me off and maybe ill change my mind
Please Stop Ashlee... you've managed to even screw up lip syncing.
speaking of screwing up lip syncing, if you do that don't you automatically win a grammy?
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:12 pm

In case you haven't seen Ashlee perform lately (or you're lucky enough to have tickets to Ashlee's 2005 tour) she has a new band member. She plays keyboards and now does all the singing for her.Here's what Ashlee herself had to say: "First off happy holidays to everyone! Second, we do have a new band member. I was going to wait until the new year to give her a proper introduction, but I know everyone really wants to know who she is, so I thought I'd tell everyone. Her name is Lucy Walsh, playing keyboards and singing for me since you all now know that I sound like a goat being sodomized with a baseball bat. I hope you enjoy my concerts now, bye!"
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Post by lionheart » Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:49 pm

49863. Cleft Palate She gave me 200 dollars to score crack for us both. We smoked it and knocked over a liquor store. She showed me her penis. You're all just jealous.
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Post by Repo Man » Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:43 pm

She probably feels left out because her pervert father does not rave about her chest like he does with the hot one.

He's right, but he's creepy.
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RobotJerk
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Post by RobotJerk » Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:56 pm

Repo Man wrote:She probably feels left out because her pervert father does not rave about her chest like he does with the hot one.
Her dad's Vince McMahon?
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:37 pm

Seriously, this girl is killing me.

She has a show on MTV?


What is about?
Lip-synching and hanging out?
Cutting hair and watching your dad hit on your older sister?


Remember when a celebrity reality show used to be about people who actually did something?


Is there a more hated "teen pop star" right now that this pale piece of nose?


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Oh yeah.
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die
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Post by die » Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:14 pm

is that dude still even doing anything these days? :?
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There is another Skywalker....
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Repo Man
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Post by Repo Man » Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:29 pm

Right after the wadrobe malfunction, he had a career malfunction.

How long until gay porn?


I already have the title for him.

Justin Hisanus
Jit Lee

in


"IN CHYNC"
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PhreakyMex
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Post by PhreakyMex » Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:46 pm

ROFL!
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Robert Paulson
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Post by Robert Paulson » Fri Feb 04, 2005 3:12 am

Right after the wadrobe malfunction, he had a career malfunction.
That's classic

He's one of those people I don't talk about much because I'm afriad they might come back. Same goes with smashmouth, marylin manson, and that band whose name I forget that did that song about doing crystal meth.
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Post by RobotJerk » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:01 am

http://www.thenewstribune.com/ae/music/ ... 2999c.html
Read my lip-sync: Ashlee Simpson deserves a break


ERNEST JASMIN; THE NEWS TRIBUNE
Last updated: February 18th, 2005 02:40 AM (PST)

There’s been a lot of Ashlee Simpson bashing these past few months, ever since Jessica’s little sis was exposed on “Saturday Night Live” in October. For the three of you who missed it, Ashlee got busted lip-syncing when the vocal track from a song she’d already performed started playing at an inopportune time – an incident that will forever link her name with the likes of Milli Vanilli.
Sure, I’ve done my share of Ashlee dissing. But I think it’s gone too far. And all I have to say about the matter now is just cut it out. Let the poor, misunderstood girl be.

Granted, her careers as reality TV star, recording artist and model are the result of the sort of gross nepotism that inspires homicidal thoughts in starving artists coast to coast.

And sure it’s easy to point out Ashlee’s relative lack of moral character, after she blamed the “SNL” incident on her band and then acid reflux; or knock her singing, which is, when she’s not lip-syncing, not remarkably better than Biz Markie’s.

But let’s look at the bright side of Ashlee Simpson. She’s the main attraction Thursday night at Seattle’s Paramount Theatre, and I offer five reasons to love Ashlee, lest you people show up at the Paramount and start pelting her with rotten tomatoes:

1. Ashlee is hilarious. Fan or not, you’ve got to admit. The lip-syncing incident, followed by that nervous jig she did when she realized she was busted, was the funniest “SNL” moment since Christopher Walken declared “I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell” on that Blue Oyster Cult skit a few years back.

2. Ashlee is a unifier. Last I checked, nearly 313,000 people had signed an online petition to Geffen Records and JT Simpson Entertainment at www.stopashlee.com. Here’s a truncated list of demands:

“We, the undersigned, are disgusted with Ashlee Simpson’s horrible singing and hereby ask her to stop.

“Stop recording, touring, modeling and performing. We do not wish to see her again.”

Ouch! That’s just mean. But keep in mind that Ashlee might succeed in unifying mankind in a common cause where war, world hunger and poverty have not.

3. Ashlee is bold. Blaming the lip-syncing episode on acid reflux? Blaming getting booed by nearly 72,000 people at the Orange Bowl on the whole halftime being bad, not just her part? Now that’s nerve.

So is going ahead with a tour in the midst of a string of bad publicity rivaled only by Michael Jackson and R. Kelly these days. Other divas would suddenly develop “throat problems” for much less than that.

4. Ashlee is soooo edgy. While Sister Jessica is content to play the part of blond pop tart, Ashlee is the rocker in the family. She dyed her hair black and wears tacky clothes just to show how punk rock she is. I’d wager she’s almost as punk rock as Avril Lavigne. If only we could measure such things.

5. Ashlee is a misunderstood, tortured artist. Some hold up Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt” as a shining example of the sort of raw, naked emotion a pop star can convey through music. But at the tender age of 19, Ashlee gives us a whole “Autobiography” of such soul-baring material.

“I walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep,” she sings on the title track. “Nobody’s really seen my million subtleties.”

We feel her sadness. But it’s later in the song that she hammers the emotion home with, “Got stains on my T-shirt, and I’m the biggest flirt.” We can only guess at the existential angst that must fuel her creative process.

So don’t hate – appreciate. Ashee Simpson rocks. And you should all go to Thursday’s show, cheer loudly and maybe buy a T-shirt to show your appreciation of her genius.

No, really. I typed this with a straight face.
:lmao:
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