GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Sun May 29, 2016 1:57 am

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Mon May 30, 2016 11:26 am

Last night's episode was a different kind of example why I get so frustrated with this show. Episode -6- out of ten, and it's still SO FUCKING SLOW.

- I know I'm in the minority of enjoying Arya's storyline, but felt last night it really stood apart as one of the few components that moved forward in a good direction. She's out of the House of Black and White, but is on the run from the Waif. I have to think she gets her vengeance on that obnoxious cunt soon.

- Bran's storyline moved forward with something that felt like it should have been a big payoff moment, meeting his uncle Benjen. I guess in the books he is some hybrid man / White known as "ColdHands" and it feels like they went about halfway with him. Benjen is interesting, and offers plausibility to how Bran can survive. He also magically knew that Bran was the Three Eyed Raven reborn, and that he had to get back to the wall. If nothing else, we have a goal for this frustrating storyline again.

- The Lannisters and Tyrells storyline moved forward with another swift kick to the dick. The seemingly wise plan to allow the Tyrells to march on house Lannister, and take over the throne was thwarted when STUPID LITTLE ASSHOLE TOMMEN decided to align himself with the Sparrows, against the direct orders of Cercei. This might have been the most annoying moment of the year for me, for a few reasons:
1. The payoff moment ripped away the possibility of a good battle, or Margery's titties. Both would have been better.
2. Like everyone outside of Benoiff/Weiss, I'm really fucking sick of religious zealots getting unchecked power.
3. Equally more than sick of Mantits von Kidtoucher, the Sparrow that someone needs to fucking kill.
4. This storyline now ties up a few interesting characters (Margery, Cercei) and sends Jamie off to interfere directly with another interesting storyline (Jon and Sansa rallying houses like house Tully, aka "Blackfish".

- Walter Frey is still a whiny, miserable dickhead with cowardly children.

- Samwell Tarley's dad is a complete cocksucker, Gilly is annoying as fucking hell, and Sam is still an unprecedented bitch. Then he steals the family's most trusted item and takes off in the dead of night so I'm sure nothing bad will come of that.

- With no idea how to end this listless, boring episode, let's show the Dragon! Look, it's bigger now! And Khaleesi is yelling with subtitles! And for some reason all the Dothraki look like doughy, weak Guantanamo POW's that will get viciously slaughtered if they make it anywhere without the help of that enormous fucking dragon.

I'm not sure how, but no one makes an army fall to shit faster than Danaerys Targaryean. The Unsullied went from an unstoppable army of "300" style super soldiers to a bunch of jackasses getting smoked by the Sons of Harpy.

Then the Khal, what the actual fuck?

Khal, season 1:

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Hoard of unthinkably brutal and vicious marauders

Khal, under DT Leadership:

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"Let's get them! Nothing can stop us with our incredible power!!
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Tue May 31, 2016 2:15 pm

Solid review, I can't really fault it.

But yeah, Arya's story is finally moving forward and I was actually interested in it finally. The flip side however, is that Bran's story took a stupid turn by having him quickly and magically saved by a door and a family member. I would've like to have seen that part done better, it seemed like a rushed wrap-up quick-save to me.

Also, I was mad at first when Margery didn't do the walk of shame, then I remembered that Natalie Dormer actually has some pretty busted tits. She's pretty hot until she takes her top off, you know.

it was probably for the best there.

Agreed on the Dothraki. Now, they all look like descendants of Travis from Fear The Walking Dead and Jango Fett who just became casual stepdads.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Tue May 31, 2016 4:07 pm

die wrote:Solid review, I can't really fault it.

But yeah, Arya's story is finally moving forward and I was actually interested in it finally. The flip side however, is that Bran's story took a stupid turn by having him quickly and magically saved by a door and a family member. I would've like to have seen that part done better, it seemed like a rushed wrap-up quick-save to me.

Also, I was mad at first when Margery didn't do the walk of shame, then I remembered that Natalie Dormer actually has some pretty busted tits. She's pretty hot until she takes her top off, you know.

it was probably for the best there.

Agreed on the Dothraki. Now, they all look like descendants of Travis from Fear The Walking Dead and Jango Fett who just became casual stepdads.
Bran, if he has really already become the three-eyed Raven, is sort of a cheat code at this point. The ability to control time and influence people throughout time suggests he could have gone back to warn Benjen to be at that point in time days, weeks, years, or generations ago. There is the suggestion that time is circular for Bran now, and that he could even be "Bran the Builder" who is responsible for building the wall thousands of years before. It's also very likely going to fuck up the whole show since it creates loads of opportunities for space/time discontinuity and an impossible plot, or invincible character.

I disagree on Natalie Dormer, after extensive research. Her tits are small and not ultra perky, but she's petite enough to pull it off and still kick me from six to midnight without any type of delay.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Tue May 31, 2016 9:17 pm

Well, tits on GoT are always perfect. Natalie Dormer's tits are probably more medievally accurate. Considering that they didn't have Victoria Secret bras or plastic surgery... plus they bounced around on horses and shit. I suppose they could be applauded for dedication to the craft.

But naw, son... them titties let me down so hard.

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"Not ultra perky" may be the understatement of the year. That's like saying "Jeff Hardy may not always land ultra smoothly".

By the time she hits 40, they will look like Melissandra with her goth choker off.


She should just do ass and pussy shots.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Tue May 31, 2016 11:33 pm

die wrote:Well, tits on GoT are always perfect. Natalie Dormer's tits are probably more medievally accurate. Considering that they didn't have Victoria Secret bras or plastic surgery... plus they bounced around on horses and shit. I suppose they could be applauded for dedication to the craft.

But naw, son... them titties let me down so hard.

Image


"Not ultra perky" may be the understatement of the year. That's like saying "Jeff Hardy may not always land ultra smoothly".

By the time she hits 40, they will look like Melissandra with her goth choker off.


She should just do ass and pussy shots.
(Quoting these for another look)

I get it. There are a TON of awesome titties on GoT, and hers likely come in last amongst hot chicks. Danaerys, Cercei (although I don't remember if we saw hers in this show or just in 300), Melissandre, Missandei, and even Ygritte dunk all over those boobs.

Even with that, I still dig them. Maybe I'm just too in love with the character (and the super sexy vibe that Natalie Dormer gives off). It's also worth mentioning that since she's super thin, she's probably not going to droop much. Conversely, Kate Upton's awesome bombs will be belt-high by the time she's 34.

I will die on this hill of loving Margaery, and that's okay.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by $nave » Wed Jun 01, 2016 4:42 am

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:25 am

$nave wrote:Image
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by $nave » Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:30 am

I see that assassin's training really paid off for Arya. Hound is back! Mountain vs Hound!

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:41 pm

$nave wrote:I see that assassin's training really paid off for Arya. Hound is back! Mountain vs Hound!
CLEGANE BOWL GET HYPE.

I was thrilled to see them introduce a new useless conflict between Jamie and Tully (Blackfish). Like both characters, would rather see them march on Bolton, but GRR Martin (Benoiff/Weiss) doesn't want us to have nice things.

Greyjoy chase is fucking boring. Maybe Theon stops being an annoying puddle soon. Great asses and tits in the scene somewhat soured by Bulldyke Greyjoy.

Glad that Margery is faking her allegiance (to no one's surprise). The exchange between Cercei and the Old Lady was one of the most entertaining ones of the season. No more bullshit, though; they need to get Frankenmountain ripping shit up. I think in the preview he tears a Sparrow's face off in next week's episode, so that's nice.

I guess Arya escaping the Waif was her new improved ability? Since Jacquen clearly told the Waif to make it quick and not let her suffer, there's a good chance he steps in despite her betrayal of the many faced god. She could also stumble upon another Water Dancer (Like Sirio Farrell, who we presume is dead), the actress she saved, Gendry (who is still rowing for the fourth fucking season in a row?), or some healer that feels bad for the bleeding-out oyster shucker. I don't know why we fooled ourselves into thinking she'd get justice.

Why doesn't Jon or Sansa ask the fucking GIANT to help him recruit people? "Hey, maybe help us or this massive fucking monster will come and smash your dick through your face in your sleep..."

No Bran, no Danaerys, no Dorne, no problem. I'm really happy they've chosen to forget Dorne ever existed. It's a win for everyone if they're not showing their tits. Wouldn't have minded an update on Tyrion, but they're not letting him do shit.

I'm currently down on Season 6. Too far along in the arc of the show to drag ass like this. I've grown overly frustrated with this season, but I hope the show ramps shit up like crazy in episodes 8-10 like it usually does.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon Jun 06, 2016 2:25 pm

I liked the way they started the show off with The Hound update. Ian Mcshane was awesome, I truly hate he wasn't in the show longer though.

BTW- Holy hell, Mcshane is 73 years old? WTF :shock:

I honestly thought he was way younger.

Back to the story though - Yeah, I did enjoy the update on The Hound and I thought for the most part it was great, but it was very rushed. I think it would've worked better if they found a reason for The Hound to leave and then come back to find everybody dead. It was like he turned around for a split second and missed a huge slaughter. It was just way too rushed.

The payoff for the Arya storyline was pure ass. I thought from the end of last week's episode that she was going to be ready. It just made no sense to me. I mean, why didn't The Waif just battle her to the death? Arya has clearly been no match for her, surely she'd want to kill her like that. Also, for a second, I was thinking maybe Arya had stuffed her shirt with a bladder of animal blood or meat or something, like she was prepared for that type of attack. They had finally got me interested in this storyline last week and it did not deliver this week.

Again, the GoT boobs did not let me down. It's like everybody in the universe has flawless tits (besides Margery).


Also, it was great to see Bronn back. He's one of my favorite characters in the whole show. He has great chemistry with just about anybody you put him on screen with. He has definitely added to Tyrion and Jamie's stories greatly. His scenes last night did not disappoint.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Mon Jun 13, 2016 4:08 pm

I'm getting dangerously close to "fuck this show" territory. There's not enough good competition on Sunday nights to pull me away from Game of Thrones, but I swear the writers are trying to physically push me.

1. Clegane Bowl is no more. HYPE DENIAL. Fuck that little pussy Tommen. The Hound and The Mountain were the only two sources of action in this episode, and if they cross paths now it will be wholly manufactured and shitty.
2. I just don't like Khaleesi anymore. Love the dragons, and can't get them without her, but would love for Drogon to just eat her and go fucking WILD afterwards.
3. I thought they handled the Riverrun standoff pretty well, but as usual it wasn't what it could have been. It would have been better to have Blackfish lead his troops up to fight with Sansa; if he knew he was fighting an unwinnable battle anyway, why wouldn't he do this? If he had listened to Brienne, then everyone wins. SIDENOTE: Will Brienne and Pod run across Gendry, the actual true heir to King's Landing, who is still in a fucking boat somewhere, also rowing?
4. The Tyrion/Varys goodbye was a huge fucking letdown. What could have been a good, tender emotional moment was deflected of a silly joke. Fucking lame.
5. Not letting us see Arya kill the T1000 running Ellen Degeneres was just Fuck You #6,729 from the show's creators. When I first saw the face in the House of Black And White, I wasn't even sure whose face it was. Anya's little scene with Jacquen was pretty cool, I guess.

So next week is the Battle of the Bastards, which has been brutally overteased. I'd threaten to not watch the season finale if Jon loses, but we all know that's a lie. I'm guessing the Wildlings get their asses kicked by the 70 Bazillion man Bolton army, and then Sansa's letter delivers the Knights of the Vale to come riding in to save the day behind Baelish.

I don't know what will happen in the water, where Mereen is being attacked by a bunch of ships that would work great to bring an army to Westeros. I don't know if Euron Greyjoy or Dyke Greyjoy will come in and attack those boats, or if the Dragon just cooks them all, or if the Dragon kills the sailors and then Dany doesn't need the Greyjoys at all (which would be a unique twist). I don't know and I don't fucking care because everything over there sucks.

Dorne is still vaporized, thank God.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon Jun 13, 2016 4:49 pm

Man, any time they show those faces in the House of Black and White, I struggle to tell who they are. Remember that promo they did where they showed familiar faces from the past and present? It was real hard to make them out for me.

I feel like this show is just trying to do too much to shock the fans. They are making the same mistakes that TWD have been making lately. And again, the pacing is a fail. Why in the hell are they letting Bolton's heel heat die out??? Even if you don't have him on every episode, there needs to be word that he did something bastardly. Tyrion simply hasn't done much of shit, all of his scenes have felt like stuff that should've been cut for time and relevancy. They could've spent that time showing more boobs, less wang and having Ramsay Bolton do some bastard stuff.

Also, way less wang would be cool. Did I mention that?

How many forced cock shots do we need per season now?

The show does listen to fans, it just listens to the most common retarded ADHD Millenial fans out there.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:16 am

die wrote:Tyrion simply hasn't done much of shit, all of his scenes have felt like stuff that should've been cut for time and relevancy.
Tyrion is like the anti-Dany. I love Dinklage, and every second he's on screen is a joy. He's my favorite actor in the cast. Unfortunately, they wrote his character into a stupid corner, dependent on shitty characters like Greywurm, Dany, and stupid Missandei. They force dialogue for him, it's a really terrible misuse of a great actor and character.

There's been so much done poorly this season, I can't help but be really cynical. In hindsight, Arya took a two year detour for training that could have been three episodes. The Hound was missing for reasons we don't fully understand. Dorne was featured heavily last year, given a preposterous rush early, and then totally discarded.

To make matters worse, when fans / reddit guess a pollen that's developing, it often gets left behind. Lady Stoneheart and Cleganebowl both would have fit into the story and made sense, but they were left in the trash because people saw it coming. Who gives a shit that someone guessed it; doesn't that mean foreshadowing was effectively executed? It's just lazy, shitty writing to abandon a favorable storyline in order to insert a crazy hook.

This cast and this story deserve better than what the TV writers/directors are doing right now.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:24 pm

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