GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by RobotJerk » Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:35 am

I hope blinded Arya is gonna be like the illegitimate offspring of Daredevil and Hitgirl.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by RobotJerk » Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:52 pm

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by RobotJerk » Mon Jan 11, 2016 10:03 pm

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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by PhreakyMex » Tue Jan 12, 2016 2:36 pm

Damn.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:31 am

Just watched it loop like 17 times.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:44 pm

Can we review episode 1?

Everything is pretty much just as we left it:
- Jon Snow is still dead, but not really. I mean, come on.
- Reek + Sansa meet Brienne and Podrick. Sansa can't show me hard nips despite wading through freezing water. Fuck you, Benoif.
- Arya is still blind, and the trainer is a total cunt for picking on a blind girl.
- Daenarys still up to wacky hijinx with the laziest pet dragon ever. She avoided getting assfucked, to my disappointment.
- Things look really bad for Cersei and Jamie, although FrankenMountain looms everywhere
- Ramses follows lamenting the loss of his true love by feeding her body to dogs. Papa Bolton is bullshit.
- Margery is going to play the "blow an old creep to get out of jail free" card
- That shame-bell twat is still around
- Dorne is going to be SUPER FUCKING ANNOYING with the overpowered feminist idiots
- Tyrion and Varys are struggling to keep shit together. Shocking given they were thrust into civil war with no formal authority, familiarity with local customs, or allies.
- Melisandre with the worst bait-and-switch titshow of all time. She's the adult show "Mother Gothel" from Tangled (only know what I'm talking about if you have kids).
- Soon we get to root for Wildlings to raid Castle Black, White Walkers to raid Castle Black
- Bran next week; Dragons not in the budget yet.

Overall a very vanilla episode. Nothing -wrong-, I guess, but I was a little disappointed.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Tue Apr 26, 2016 4:51 am

Your review is completely on target, pretty much exactly how I felt.

All I can add is that it would be a lot easier to be forgiving of vanilla episodes here and there or slow paced episodes if we didn't have a motherfucking year between fucking seasons.

They needed to make a Fear The Game of Thrones show to run somewhere amidst the downtime.

I'm still pissed about the long ass wait. They need to make the season have more episodes or something seriously. They lose sooooo much momentum between seasons.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon May 02, 2016 4:07 pm

Well, none of that was predictable :lmao:

So yeah, this is the first season that doesn't follow the books, right?

Zombie Jon Snow has the potential to be a shark jumping moment right now.

I also didn't think Tyrion being so brave when releasing the dragons was the way to go. I was thinking for sure he'd bring the hot black chick with him since he asked her about them.

Also, Arya only got beat up twice and she's READY TO BE A MASTER!!!!! Lol, I am really hating that storyline. they should've given her this season off and focused more on Bran Stark.

I really hope they end up turning this into an epic season, but so far it's got me a bit frustrated (even though I'm happy it's back on)
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by RobotJerk » Tue May 03, 2016 12:08 am

There needs to be an online database of which actresses got naked in which episodes.

Wait...is there an online database of which actresses got naked in which episodes?
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Thu May 05, 2016 9:03 pm

die wrote:Well, none of that was predictable :lmao:

So yeah, this is the first season that doesn't follow the books, right?

Zombie Jon Snow has the potential to be a shark jumping moment right now.

I also didn't think Tyrion being so brave when releasing the dragons was the way to go. I was thinking for sure he'd bring the hot black chick with him since he asked her about them.

Also, Arya only got beat up twice and she's READY TO BE A MASTER!!!!! Lol, I am really hating that storyline. they should've given her this season off and focused more on Bran Stark.

I really hope they end up turning this into an epic season, but so far it's got me a bit frustrated (even though I'm happy it's back on)
Couldn't possibly dream of disagreeing more with you.

Loved this episode, including several key moments:
- Ramsay cuts loose the last shackles of reason by killing Roose and his baby brother.
- Frankenmountain head smash.
- Wun-wun the giant beats an archer like a throw-rug.
- Jon Snow revives, not playing TWD "tease the obvious big moment to season's end"

Aya the blindo was also old AF, so I didn't mind them moving that one forward. We only saw a few attacks, but based on the timeline, she may have been blind for MONTHS, if we use the Bolton baby gestation period as a framework for how long the two seasons went. She also isn't a "master", she's just ready to return for training and paid her penance for killing someone that wasn't assigned to her.

Tyrion has also reached a point where he no longer really gives a shit if he lives or dies. The Harpies are destroying the city around him, he has the most overrated soldiers EVER in the Unsullied, Barrister Selmy is dead and Daenarys/Jorah/Dario are nowhere to be seen. He spends his days getting drunk and talking to double-cue-ball. It's fun, and it's comic relief, but it needs to move and dragons move everything.

The storylines I fucking hate are:
- The Sparrow and the 7-Pointed Cunts. I just want Frankenmountain to squash them all and be done.
- Dorne. Fuck those bitches. They're shortsighted, stupidly invincible, and boring when they're not naked.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Fri May 06, 2016 3:42 pm

Aya the blindo was also old AF, so I didn't mind them moving that one forward. We only saw a few attacks, but based on the timeline, she may have been blind for MONTHS, if we use the Bolton baby gestation period as a framework for how long the two seasons went. She also isn't a "master", she's just ready to return for training and paid her penance for killing someone that wasn't assigned to her.
I don't like it when I have to try to think up reasons for something to not feel rushed or cheap. It feels like they rushed through the blindness thing, having it ultimately feel like a worthless cliffhanger type ploy. I'm also tired of the dude who looks like the bass player for every 90's soft rock/pop band trying to play Morpeus to Arya's Neo, it's just cliché and uninteresting. They need to just step away from the Arya story for a while like they did with Bran.
Tyrion has also reached a point where he no longer really gives a shit if he lives or dies. The Harpies are destroying the city around him, he has the most overrated soldiers EVER in the Unsullied, Barrister Selmy is dead and Daenarys/Jorah/Dario are nowhere to be seen. He spends his days getting drunk and talking to double-cue-ball. It's fun, and it's comic relief, but it needs to move and dragons move everything.
That could've been the case, had they not shown him scared shitless afterwards when he told dickless uncle fester to never let him do that again.


But yeah, Jon Snow is back from the dead... my question still remains as to whether that is going to be a cheap-ass season ender cliffhanger or is his death and return actually going to be addressed storyline wise and make for a more interesting character/story.

I just don't like cheap-ass shit like that, I will gladly accept it if they can make it worthwhile later. So far, it looks like Arya being blind is some cheap ass shit.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon May 09, 2016 2:42 pm

I spent all of last night hoping that Frankenstein Mountain would bust in and soul rape a dozen people!
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by lionheart » Mon May 09, 2016 2:43 pm

die wrote: I just don't like cheap-ass shit like that, I will gladly accept it if they can make it worthwhile later. So far, it looks like Arya being blind is some cheap ass shit.
Arya's scene was arguably the best from last night. She looked fucking awesome by the time she finished her training. Since they're all running on different timelines, I would have liked more time with her.

Circe, Jamie, and Frankenmountain meeting with the Small Council was a pretty funny scene, but didn't do much except show that she's no longer a master puppeteer. The acquisition of the kids / "little birds" will be a useful tool. I also enjoyed the conversation between the High Sparrow and King Tommen.

Emilia Clarke (Daenarys) runs an awfully boring storyline, because if there aren't dragons IDGAF about her. Show me Jorah! Show me Dario! Show me titties! What a shitty line that is right now.

Everyone loves Dinklage, but his storyline, as well as Varys's, were completely, totally unnecessary last night. The scene with the Greyjoy's was also a fucking abortion. Less time there, more time on...

Jon Snow, whose return was a big relief in that it didn't drag ass. I was worried we'd see a reversion to emo-Snow (We didn't) or that he'd be indecisive (he wasn't). To hang that little fucking swish Olly was just fantastic. Seeing Jon leave the Night's Watch was also awesome, as he is clearly decisive, driven, and has some sort of plan.

The Tower of Joy scene was also interesting. Fantastic swordfight, although I was hoping for more time. It was also an interesting twist that everyone's white knight Ned Stark got his ass saved by an act of (literal) backstabbing. Everyone has their reasons. I look forward to more scenes here on the R+L=J development, since it's obvious that fans figured out the real story but there are tweaks that we didn't understand. I am also not sure what Bran's endgame looked like.

Overall, it was a very good episode from a plot-pushing perspective, but pretty disappointing to just sit and watch. There's a lot of rebalancing needed with screen time.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon May 09, 2016 6:36 pm

On the minor stuff, we generally agree. As for the other stuff, it feels like we are watching an entirely different show.


Arya's scene was arguably the best from last night. She looked fucking awesome by the time she finished her training. Since they're all running on different timelines, I would have liked more time with her.
Again, I could've done with much less from her. I'm so tired of hearing faceless jedi jesus say WHAT IS A GIRL'S NAME and Arya saying A GIRL HAS NO NAME and then turns into Donatello. It's like Punky Brewster is getting mentored by the drummer from Hootie every week and it goes nowhere.


Emilia Clarke (Daenarys) runs an awfully boring storyline, because if there aren't dragons IDGAF about her. Show me Jorah! Show me Dario! Show me titties! What a shitty line that is right now.
I enjoyed the awesome sideboob personally. I feel like they need to step things up to get us to hate her captors so we get stoked for dragon fire on them.



Everyone loves Dinklage, but his storyline, as well as Varys's, were completely, totally unnecessary last night. The scene with the Greyjoy's was also a fucking abortion. Less time there, more time on...
Agreed. the scene with Grey Worm and my new blackgirl fetish was useless and boring. And now Tyrion doesn't like pussy anymore? WTF




Jon Snow, whose return was a big relief in that it didn't drag ass. I was worried we'd see a reversion to emo-Snow (We didn't) or that he'd be indecisive (he wasn't). To hang that little fucking swish Olly was just fantastic. Seeing Jon leave the Night's Watch was also awesome, as he is clearly decisive, driven, and has some sort of plan.
I fucking loved seeing Olly and the old Commander get owned.


The Tower of Joy scene was also interesting. Fantastic swordfight, although I was hoping for more time. It was also an interesting twist that everyone's white knight Ned Stark got his ass saved by an act of (literal) backstabbing. Everyone has their reasons. I look forward to more scenes here on the R+L=J development, since it's obvious that fans figured out the real story but there are tweaks that we didn't understand. I am also not sure what Bran's endgame looked like.
I think the scene would've been better if they didn't zoom in so much on Ned Stark. From a distance, he had a good resemblance but up close he looked like Dale Earnhardt jr as Beavis. It was a cool scene and added to the Bran story greatly but it was shot like shit. There was a lot of sloppy sword work and bad timing throughout which sucks because the show usually does that type of stuff quite well.


I really feel the pacing sucks overall this season. This feels like one of those seasons that would be better via binge watching later because of the slow build-ups and gaps.
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Re: GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING THRONES

Post by die » Mon May 16, 2016 2:21 pm

To me, last night was the best episode so far. The pacing was back on par with earlier seasons of the show.

They really took my hatred of Bolton to all new heights, that is an impressive move.

I really enjoyed all of the tension in this, the red lady & Sir Davos looked super scurred of Bigfoot Ellen.
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