Cinematic Disasterpieces

My only wish is that TBS becomes the "Roadhouse" channel... then the circle will be complete
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RobotJerk
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by RobotJerk » Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:48 am

SoVi3t wrote:Meredith Salenger, didn't she "accidentally" post nude photos on MySpace too?

Wait...whut?
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SoVi3t
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:21 pm

RobotJerk wrote:
SoVi3t wrote:Meredith Salenger, didn't she "accidentally" post nude photos on MySpace too?

Wait...whut?
google it :)


anywho:
http://www.cagesideseats.com/2012/9/25/ ... g-part-one

a wrestling review of the Chyna Queen of the Ring porn.
But then suddenly Vince and Stephanie regain control of the match and Vince bends Chyna over where she is attacked from both ends by the McMahon tag team. Vince repeatedly attacks her from behind while Stephanie is just kind of sitting there holding Chyna's head down towards the general vicinity of the billion-dollar pelvic bone. I guess this is to make sure that Chyna can't break Vince's hold.

Vince then amps up his diabolical act by holding Chyna's arms behind her back while continuing to furiously attack her from behind. Chyna is in a lot of trouble here. Stephanie starts talking trash to Chyna and tells her she has no choice but to take it. Vince and Stephanie throw Chyna down on her back and continue tag teaming her. Chyna then begins the typical babyface defiant stand as she challenges Vince to "give it to me" but Stephanie quickly shuts Chyna up by sitting on her face and palming Chyna's chest down with vice-like strength.

Chyna has been stuck in these submission moves for quite a long time.

We are just past the ten minute mark of this brawl and I have to say, this is now reminding me of the good old days when Andre the Giant would slap a 10-minute Bear Hug on Hulk Hogan. Chyna has been continually flicking her fingers down towards her own crotch for much of this time. I can only assume that she is performing this maniacal motion with the intent of retrieving the two-inch weapon that has been concealed between her legs this entire time. But she just can't seem to shake it free no matter how rabidly she pulls for it.

I fucking can't stop laughing reading this thing.
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die
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by die » Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:04 pm

That is classic, lol.

Do yourself a favor, if you got Netflix, you got to check out "Knuckle".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606259/
An epic 12-year journey into the brutal and secretive world of Irish Traveler bare-knuckle fighting. This film follows a history of violent feuding between rival clans.
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It's like a drunk pseudo-gangster emotional soap opera.

The subtitles for this crack me straight the fuck up. These dudes say so much shit that the subtitles are like like fuck it, and they condense it down to like 1 small sentence. Sometimes it is just breathtakingly funny.

They fight about such unimportant retarded shit and they do it like their whole entire lives. You got to watch this shit, even if you just fast-forward to the fight scenes. There's a few dudes getting knocked the fuck out.
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PhreakyMex
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by PhreakyMex » Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:11 pm

RobotJerk wrote:
SoVi3t wrote:Meredith Salenger, didn't she "accidentally" post nude photos on MySpace too?

Wait...whut?

Old news Robo... i have said photos in my collection.. i'd upload but im at the office..
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SoVi3t
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:52 am

die wrote:bla bla bla IRISH bla bla bla

You had me from the word irish. Everything else was just bliss.
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by RobotJerk » Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:43 am

die wrote:-Raylene and Crissy Moran still look soooooo bangable
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Indeed.

The text at the end says pornstar-turned-realtor Raylene went back to making porn after they interviewed her, along with her husband. I watched a porn of her a few days after seeing this and immediately thought "I'd totally buy a house from that chick."
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Sun Jan 20, 2013 6:54 pm

Every part of my film critic being wants to put Starship Troopers up on this list, but it's almost too good to the point where it's became a masterpiece that embodies so many terrible things, like religion. If Denise Richards, aka that hooker Charlie Sheen paid for by getting her a role, had gotten nekkid in this (rather than alluding to it), like she did in Wild Things, it would literally be the greatest movie in the history of forever.

Take that Showgirls. Mmmmmm yeah, take that.

Also I saw a movie called Fire Maidens of Outer Space. I love old movies, especially when they're nothing more than sexploitation and advertisements for cigarettes (seriously, all the guys wanna do is go back to the ship, sit around, and have a smoke), and the monster is just a dude in a green spandex suit with green face paint. I guess he's probably an ugly Irish or Italian guy I really couldn't guess. It's black and white so for all I know it was purple face paint. Took so much time for them to perfect them to become classic cinematic movies like the original Thing, where the monster was just a guy dressed up as a bush.
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lionheart
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by lionheart » Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:49 am

Starship Troopers 2 took the campy awesome of Starship Troopers and made it just awful awful. No redeeming characteristics. An unmitigated abortion. F minus.
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SoVi3t
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:50 pm

lionheart wrote:Starship Troopers 2 took the campy awesome of Starship Troopers and made it just awful awful. No redeeming characteristics. An unmitigated abortion. F minus.

yeah ST2 was awful. They barely even had bugs. And whatever happened to the ones that poo'd blue shit into the sky? They just straight up vanished :(

Did you ever see the song in the last Starship Troopers song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6yFXY9JqEo

wtf
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die
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by die » Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:42 pm

I don't even think I've seen part 2, I skipped right ahead to part 3.

I heard it had nudity and T'pol from Enterprise so I was hoping those 2 things would have a common thread.
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:33 pm

OK Connery:

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The amazing story of James Bond....s brother, played by Sean Connery's real fucking brother. Named Mr Connery.
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by SoVi3t » Thu May 30, 2013 8:17 pm

Couldn't decide if this goes here or in WTF:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFqYiKDwt0I

the greatest movie ever made by people in Ghana. Still dunno why a Terminator comes back in time to roundhouse kick people.
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die
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by die » Fri Sep 20, 2013 5:37 am

Anybody seen "Bad Milo" yet :shock:
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by die » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:27 pm

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Ass Backwards (2013)
Two best friends (Kate and Chloe) embark on a cross country trip back to their hometown to attempt to win a pageant that eluded them as children.

This was like Dumb and Dumber but not funny at all. It was boring, the jokes weren't hitting for shit and 4 C-list celebrities got top billing in this over the 2 main characters. The ending was so great though that it almost redeemed the entire movie. Seriously, I've never seen a movie so shitty that had a great unexpected ending like this one.

This was a disaster.
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Robert Paulson
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Re: Cinematic Disasterpieces

Post by Robert Paulson » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:08 am

SoVi3t wrote:OK Connery:

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The amazing story of James Bond....s brother, played by Sean Connery's real fucking brother. Named Mr Connery.
MST3K did that movie, it was called "operation double 007"
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